(to the tune of Gilligan’s Island)

Don’t sit right back or you’ll hear the wail

The wail of a chainsaw’s rip

It’s trouble of a Texas sort

A bloody violent trip

Ol’ Bubba’s a mighty chainsaw man

Platehead scrapes with hanger-hook for sure

The 2 of them drove off one night

For a radio station tour

A radio station tour

Bubba started getting rough

And Rubber Man got tossed

Like lambs mixed with lions at a petting zoo

LG and Stretch were lost

LG and Stretch were lost

LG’s stripped skin’s on a meat hook

In a cave that’s dark and vile

With Leatherface

And Platehead too

Grand-pa

And his wife

Lefty Enright

Drayton Sawyer and

The Nubbins man

Here with more lives defiled!

The saw’s family in this Texas town

It’s been here for a long long time

The secret to the chili that’s the best in town

Is the human meat they grind

Drayton Sawyer is the business man

He does his very best

With Grandpa on his high protein liquid diet

Keeping him 100 years fresh

No way will Stretch ever escape

She’s Bubba’s company

He needs her around to sport his wood

Trapped for eternity

Lefty joins the party and

Drayton finds Nubbins with a smile

The fuck you Charlie’s pin gets pulled

More bodies on the pile!